18 Weeks and Counting!

I am starting to look forward to hitting the halfway mark of this pregnancy. I am still NOT an excited pregnant person and I just want it all to end. I still continue to feel yucky a lot but not nearly as badly as that first 3+ months!

I also had my first dream about the baby the other night. It was at my ultrasound (which is scheduled for Dec 6th by the way). For some reason, Mark could not get there and at the end, I asked what we were having. They said a girl.

Last night's dream was also about the baby though it was a little scarier. I dreamt that once again, I had attended the ultrasound but had forgotten to ask for a picture. When I went back in to ask, they showed me a pic of a little girl aged 4- she had blond hair and was smiling. When I said that this was a mistake as I wanted my ultrasound pic, they assured me that this little package was mine. It was a series of pics- 4-5 from the womb to aged 4 showing what our baby would likely look like. The thing is, the little girl (once again a girl) had Downs Syndrome...

Now I know why I had this dream - yesterday when I surfed the net, I came across some websites about Downs and had a look. I am 37 and according to one site, the odds are 1 in 255 that I will have a baby with Downs. Those are pretty good and real odds and I suppose I stressed a little subconsciously. Other sites say there is even a bigger chance- 1 in 227 and since I will actually only be days away from 38 when I deliver... chances are 1/177!!!

Anyhow, no matter what our baby's health will be, we will love it and raise it to be the best human being it can be, but as a Lana, the thought of having a little one who may have developmental difficulties and health issues is extremely scary! I guess this is where everything gets thrown out the window and you just take it day by day doing the best you can. I will try not to dwell on it. After all, even IF we had had the screening and found out definitely that Poppy had Downs, we would have kept our baby anyway. This was the time in my life when I chose to have a child and I will accept whatever comes.

Poppy is about the size of a bell pepper or a large pickle from a deli- 5 1/2 inches. Still seems so small to be making a 180 pound woman feel like such CRAP! :) We started getting rid of the spare bed last weekend- should have it completely out of the room this weekend. I have also been teettering on names recently; changing my mind a bit but two favourites for me right now are Amelia or Mason (though Mark likes Conner too). We have the middles names covered so it is just a matter of time before we reach a final decision. The ultrasound in just over 2 weeks will help since we will hopefully find out if we are naming a boy or a girl!!


I am still wearing regular sweaters along with the 3 pairs of maternity pants that Jess gave me. This should work until the holidays for sure. 5 calendar months to go until our due date... I have a feeling it will really start to go by quickly now- I sure hope so!

Week 15 and still hoping for better days ahead

I was sick for two weeks upon my return from Winnipeg last month. I finally returned to work last week and continue to feel better. We did visit Montfort Hopspital emergency room a few Fridays ago seeking some more help as I was really sick, weak and not eating. They insisted I continue to take the Diclectin and they added on a stomach acid relief medication to assist with acid reflux from lack of food and an empty stomach.

In the last week, I have been eating more and keeping things down more too so I feel happy about that. I am still exhausted and work days mean getting home, eating a little something, showering and getting into bed but at least I can get back to work.

Mark's friends Shane and Jess gave me a bag of maternity clothes which came at the perfect time as I am desperate for some confy clothes for work. I am definitely showing something but it looks more like I am just fat than preggers.

Yesterday was my first full work-up doctor's appt where my questions were answered and I received my flu shot. Since August when I first visited the doc, I have lost 10 pounds which I know will come back soon enough but I am slowly gaining strength again. Doc says all looks fine and I will continue to see him until about week 26 when I will transfer over to the OBGYN I met last January, Dr. Marleau, unless anything changes before hand.

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, it is too late for me to have amniocentesis to see if our Poppy has any congenital defects as I should have had that between 11 & 13 weeks 6 days. At this rate, I say, "oh well" since this will be our only baby, we will have it and love it no matter what its health situation will be. I will have an ultrasound in the next month and I hope to find out the sex of the little one then.

This morning, I had to go for blood work and since it was first thing in the morning, I am still quite weak, I had a flu shot last evening and I had not eaten anything but a Boost drink, I fainted at the lab. Big commotion and had to go back home and rest for the day- what a disaster I am!

Mark and I had a peek at Baby's 'R Us this weekend and started to discuss our immediate baby needs, which are few; car seat & stroller, baby monitor, breast pump and glider. A crib can wait until Poppy is born if necessary.

Hopefully I will feel well enough to start preparing for the upcoming holiday season and to start getting excited about having this baby.